Today, I went to my sister's ward. It was bit weird to go back to a single's ward again. It seemed like everybody had devoted a lot of time and energy to their appearance with the latest fashions and you could see how some girls would get nervous around boys. Maybe, I was just seeing what I wanted to see, but it was still amusing.
The first girl talked about faith and how they're in this transition time waiting to find their spouse, finish their degrees and move on to "real life". It reminded me that I really need to enjoy the present or else I'll always just think I'm in transition to something better. It's so easy to get caught up in what I don't have at the moment. I'm waiting for him to sleep in his crib, hold his head up, have a more predictable schedule, my husband to find a job and finish school, having a better income, having a real house that we own etc... but I bet once we get to the next point, I'll still be looking forward to something else. There's always something in the future.
Last night, baby woke up around 3am for a feeding and he smiled at me as we came to sit down in the glider. It made me so grateful for the close intimate moments we have together. Breastfeeding has been a very bonding experience for me. I'm going to miss when he's not breastfeeding anymore. I began wondering what things he will come to me for when he's older. It's kinda nice to feel needed by him and know that I am the one to provide him with the nutrients he needs to grow and stay healthy. It's also cute how his head is so floppy and will just rest where its put when he's tired and asleep.
I changed his outfit this morning and realized his onesies are getting a bit more fitted on him (as in they are actually starting to fit). I'm going to be sad when he outgrows these newborn sized onesies. Yup, he's 7 weeks and still wearing the smaller newborn stuff- Carter's fits him best.
We were really spoiled for 4 years and especially since June. Sometimes, I put off going to bed once baby is down just so I can be awake with him. It's nice to have him around most of the day, too.
I'm loving the support and encouragement I get from my peers and professors. While the PhD program is tough, I'm glad I only have classes 3 days a week and only 2 with real weekly homework. The class we teach is getting more fun and it's an awesome opportunity. I'm grateful to pursue a career I really enjoy and love.
I know I'm not always going to be super optimistic about life in the present moment, but I hope I can be better.