Sharing chores contributes to better marriage and parenting quality

I'm kind of a nerd. Just in case you didn't already know that. The other day I was preparing my syllabus for my class and I decided to google myself and see what came up just in case a student decided to do the same. (Am I the only one the googles professors?...) I found this article. It's about my thesis, but this is a MUCH more condensed synopsis of the findings. Sharing chores contributes to better marriage and parenting quality

by  Comprehensive Clinic  on 12/5/2011 9:28 AM

Category: Newsletters; Marriage Tips

By Krysti Dagley

With many working mothers now being outside of the home for as many hours as their husbands, the division of household chores and childcare is now being investigated by researchers.

Lauren Barnes, BYU Marriage and Family Therapy graduate student, recently explored how division of labor affects parenting and the marital relationship.  Barnes said this study highlights fathers’ contributions to childcare more than previous studies because the division of labor questionnaire included tasks that are traditionally more father-oriented such as bringing a child to activities or going to games. 

Barnes found that equally sharing responsibilities predicted greater relationship quality for mothers’ ratings of the marital relationship. However, the division of responsibilities did not influence fathers’ relationship quality. The study also found that fathers who reported higher marital relationship quality were observed to have more positive parenting interactions with their children.

These positive parenting interactions included parental influence, quality time, consistent discipline and child monitoring.

“This study proves the systemic nature of families, “she said. “The couple’s relationship impacts children directly and indirectly."

So what is the take home message? According to Barnes, it's important as a parent to nurture your relationship with your spouse because the quality of this relationship will impact your children. 

“I like to tell couples to go out on weekly dates as one of the first assignments when they come to therapy,” Barnes said. 

As a new mother herself, Barnes said she’s found that nurturing her marriage improves her family life and helps her husband feel more involved and more inclined to help out.

“Husbands and wives who share household chores enhance their marriages and help their children to thrive,” she said.

Peanut Butter Playdough

1 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup honey
2 cups powdered sugar
Tip: spray your measuring cup before putting in peanut butter and again before honey and it will slip right out
Mix all ingredients together and let your toddler play!

It gets a bit more runny as they play, but it hasn't gotten super sticky. We also really like the flavor. It's sweeter than recipes that use dry milk, but it doesn't crumble.

55 FHE Ideas with a Toddler

We have been pretty bad at doing Family Home Evening the past few months because we haven't been able to figure out the balance between us doing something and including Aidan.

In Relief Society the other week, we were asked to set some goals to improve our spirituality and other areas of life and I had this brilliant idea to come up with FHE ideas and lessons that we could include Aidan in.

I just put a basic header with the topic of each lesson. We'll talk about what we can related to the subject and then do the activity. Some of these ideas are better for a younger toddler and others are for an older toddler. Those with an asterisk are for holidays and special occasions. I've hyper linked some of the ideas to their sources. All of the songs are from the Children's Songbook unless they say otherwise.

PRAYER
Song: A Child’s Prayer #12
Activity: Use the prayer puppet. Talk about how you’re supposed to pray and help your toddler say the closing prayer

DAVID & GOLIATH
Song: I Will Be Valiant #162
Activity: Tell the story of David & Goliath. Make paper rocks and throw them at Daddy.

AMMON
Song: Book of Mormon Stories #118
Activity: Have your toddler pretend to cut off arms.

TOWER OF BABEL
Song: Children All Over the World #16
Activity: Build a tall tower out of jenga blocks or marshmallows and toothpicks.

ARTICLES OF FAITH
Songs & Activity: Go through the Articles of Faith songs #122-132

FAMILY HISTORY
Song: Family History #94
Activity: Go through pictures of grandparents, cousins and other family members and practice saying their
names.

MASTERPIECE MAKER
Song: My Heavenly Father Loves Me #228
Activity: Watch Create (Mormon Message). Make things with PB Dough and snacks

FAITH
Song: Faith #96
Activity: Talk about how faith is like a seed and needs nourishment to grow. Plant a garden or indoor plant.

ORGANIZE YOURSELVES
Song: A Young Man Prepared #166
Activity: Sort objects by color, shape etc.

GOSPEL ART KIT
Song: I Want to Live the gospel #148
Activity: Have your toddler pick a picture and then talk about the picture and point out things and people they might recognize.

FORTIFY OUR FAMILIES
Song: Families Can be Together Forever #188
Activity: Have a Lego fort built. Knock it over and rebuild it.

JESUS CHRIST
Song: The Church of Jesus Christ #77
Activity: Print out The Story of Jesus Christ and have it ready to color and talk about.

LEHI’S DREAM
Song: The Iron Rod Hymn #274
Activity: Have a piece of string taped up around the house. Hold on to it and follow the string from room to room.

REVERENCE
Song: Reverence #27
Activity: Cut out the reverent child and talk about what it means to be reverent and why

HEAVENLY FATHER
Song: I Need my Heavenly Father #18
Activity: Trace your toddler’s body on butcher paper. Talk about how Heavenly Father has a body like us.

KEEPING COMMANDMENTS
Song: Keep the Commandments #146
Activity: Talk about how keeping the commandments keep us safe. Use toy animals and Legos to surround them and talk about how animals can’t get out into trouble because the fence keeps them safe.

NOAH’S ARK
Song: Follow the Prophet #110
Activity: Use the page from the quiet book to tell the story and name the animals.

OBEDIENCE
Song: Quickly I’ll Obey #197
Activity: Play Mother May I, Simon Says. Talk about how obedience to our parents keeps us happy and safe.

LEHI’S JOURNEY
Song: Nephi’s Courage #120
Activity: Set up a tent in the living room “Father dwelt in a tent” and read the story

TEMPLES
Song: I Love to See the Temple #95
Activity: Make Temples out of play dough.
Activity #2: Go walk around the temple grounds

USING OUR TALENTS
Song: When grandpa Comes #201
Activity: Draw pictures for great-grandparents and grandparents

HEALTH CARE
Song: For Health & Strength #21
Activity: Put together Humanitarian Aid Kits. Help your toddler put objects in a bag.

WORD OF WISDOM- HEALTH
Song: Healthy Wealthy & Wise #280
Activity: Create and do an obstacle course together or practice physical activities (e.g. jumping, running)

WORD OF WISDOM- FOOD
Song: The Prophet Said to Plant a Garden #237
Activity: Eat and name healthy snacks

FOLLOW THE PROPHET
Song: Follow the Prophet #110
Activity: Popsicle stick puzzle with President Monson’s face

GENTLENESS
Song: I’m Trying to be Like Jesus
Activity: Put your hand into a bag to guess and grab objects

JESUS CALMS THE SEA
Song: Tell Me the stories of Jesus #57
Activity: Create a tempest in a bottle

JONAH & THE WHALE
Song: The Books in the Old Testament #114
Activity: Eat Goldfish/Whales

THE HOLY GHOST
Song: The Still Small Voice #106
Activity: Play the Listen Game

WISE MAN
Song: The Wise Man & the Foolish Man #281
Activity: Teach the song and movements

CHOICES
Song: Choose the Right Hymn# 239
Activity: Play a game where you give them directions. You can have one parent be the good parent and the other give bad directions or just both direct them.

BOOK OF MORMON
Song: Book of Mormon Stories #118
Activity: Teach the song and movements

MUSIC IN THE HOME
Song: Pick various songs
Activity: play piano, maracas, teach how to conduct etc.

RAIN IN THE DESERT
Song: Rain is falling all around #241
Activity: Make rain in the tub or over sink

FISHER’S OF MEN
Song: I Feel My Savior’s Love #74
Activity: Put peanut butter on celery and go fishing for goldfish on plate

I SPY
Song: Two Little Eyes #268
Activity: Create an I spy bag with object related to gospel or things your toddler recognizes

NEPHI
Song: Nephi’s Courage #120
Activity: Create floating boats and put them in the tub or go race them down a local stream

MANNA
Song: Follow the Prophet #110
Activity: Bake and eat bread

LOVE THY NEIGHBOR
Song: Love One Another #136
Activity: Heart Attack the neighbor’s House

TITLE OF LIBERTY
Song: The Books of the Book of Mormon #119
Activity: Create and wave around a homemade version of title of liberty.

WORKING HARD
Song: The Things I Do #170
Activity: Create a Toddler Chore Chart

DANIEL & LION’S DEN
Song: Keep the Commandments #110
Activity: Chase your toddler around like a lion. Maybe, have one parent protect them from the lions.

THE ARMOR OF GOD
Song: I Will be Valiant #162
Activity: Dress your toddler in armor using kitchen utensils, paper etc.

GOLDEN PLATES
Song: The Golden Plates #86
Activity: Color Foil on cardboard like plates.
Activity #2: Put together puzzle of Joseph Smith

ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES
Song: Choose the Right Way #160
Activity: Dominos

MISSIONARIES
Song: I Hope they call me on a Mission #169
Activity: Dress up as a missionary. Color and make your own tag

*EASTER
Song: Easter Hosanna #68
Activity: Dye Easter Eggs
Activity #2: Make Resurrection Cookies

*RESURRECTION
Song: On a Golden Springtime #89
Activity: Resurrection Easter Egg hunt

*BIRTH OF JESUS
Song: Samuel Tells of Baby Jesus #36
Activity: Act out the nativity

*THANKSGIVING
Song: Thanks to our Father #20
Activity: Trace hands and make turkeys

*CHRISTMAS SYMBOLS
Song: Have a Very Merry Christmas #51
Activity: Create a poster board with symbols of Christmas and have a cut out of each symbol. Have your toddler match the symbols as you talk about what they each mean.

*YEAR IN REVIEW
Song: A Happy Family #198
Activity: Look at pictures from the past year and organize them

eBooks to Enrich Your Relationship

"Do you love your spouse but miss that excitement you had back when you were first dating? Are you feeling more like roommates instead of husband and wife? Wishing you could reconnect with your best friend?"

The Dating Divas are doing a special on their new books, The A to Z Guide: 26 Ways in 26 Days to a Happier, Healthier Marriage and The Ultimate Date Night Book.

Through December 31st, you can order BOTH for $27!! This is such a steal!

I have The A to Z Guide already and it's amazing. It has great tips and stories of marriage and helping to get the spark back or even just increase the spark and love within your marriage.

The Ultimate Date Night Guide has their top date night ideas as voted by their audience. I have a new years resolution to go out more frequently with my husband. This book is great because it does all the thinking for you. I'll just need to pick a day and time.
This would be a great gift for yourself, your spouse or friends that you're not sure what to buy for.

An Apostolic Warning: Things as They Really Are

"Today I raise an apostolic voice of warning about the potentially stifling, suffocating, suppressing, and constraining impact of some kinds of cyberspace  interactions and experiences upon our souls...—such as experimenting with actions contrary to God’s commandments or enticing us to think or  do things we would not otherwise think or do “because it is only a game. Sadly, some young men and women in the Church today ignore “things as they really are” and neglect eternal relationships for digital distractions, diversions, and detours that have no lasting value.

I offer two questions for consideration in your personal pondering and prayerful studying:

1. Does the use of various technologies and media invite or impede the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost in your life?

2. Does the time you spend using various technologies and media enlarge or restrict your capacity to live, to love, and to serve in meaningful ways?

I testify that God lives and is our Heavenly Father...To be “encircled about eternally in the arms of his love” (2 Nephi 1:15) will be a real and not a virtual experience."

-Elder Bednar, May 2009


Violent Video Games May Alter Brain Functioning

Teen Texting Soars; Will Social Skills Suffer?

Internet paradox: A social technology that reduces social involvement and psychological well-being?

Online time 'is good for teens'

There are a ton of articles on just about anything arguing all sides

141 Grocery Items for $124 Including Produce & Organic

I love reading The Thrifty Couple.

They just did a post about saving a ton of money on a grocery trip.

We bought a total of 141 items for $123.91 in the end, which included a lot of produce, cheese, eggs, milk and even a bunch of organic items! The tab was $311.52 before the discounts!


I LOVE SAVING MONEY ON GROCERIES! Posts like this inspire me.


I personally use Deals to Meals for price matching and to find the best deals and it's saved us a bunch on our grocery budget.


What's your method?

Deepest Fear

‎"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson