Dear Aidan

Dear Aidan,

Within the next couple weeks, your life will be changed forever. Mine will, too. In a couple weeks, this "baby in mama's belly" will make her grand entrance and, I have to admit, I'm a bit worried about how it will affect you. There's so much unknown. I don't want you to feel forgotten or replaced. After all, you've been "my baby" your whole life the past 33 months.

I've been thinking a lot about when I went into labor with you. We were so excited and anxious to meet you! It seemed like almost everything that could go wrong after a perfectly healthy pregnancy, went wrong- emergency c-section and then you being in the NICU for almost 3 weeks while they tested for strep b, meiningitis, treated an infection, monitored your blood pressure, heart rate, we tried to teach you to eat etc. I remember panicking, but also feeling calm and knowing that everything would be okay. Your grandmother asked one of the nurses if you'd "be okay and develop as a healthy little boy despite all of the birthing complications" and I remember thinking that, of course you would. You were such a fighter- everything that was causing the doctors to worry would suddenly be gone the next time they checked. I think that was an example of your faith, too. You have been one energetic and healthy boy since then!

I see you now and I wonder, "What will I do with a baby that cannot speak to me and tell me exactly what she wants?" You've learned to ask (and demand, at times) for exactly what you think you need- even if it is that you "need choc-co-let".

I love that you are already so caring and kind. I was worried about being pregnant while also having such a rambunctious and energetic toddler. Toward the beginning of my pregnancy when I was so exhausted from working and the hormones and just feeling so sick all of the time, you were always there to comfort me and you would be calm.

One particular day, I remember I was feeling extremely tired and had made multiple trips to the bathroom. You'd stand next to my legs while I was hunched over the toilet and spit into it next to me and then get me some toilet paper to wipe my mouth. You've always been great at providing a little comedic relief when it's needed! I came over to the couch and plopped myself down with my head hung over and you came and just hugged me. Other times, you'd go and get your blankie and "babies" and bring them to me and rub my hair and say, "It's okay, Mama. Daddy was often gone at night with school, but we somehow made it through those first almost 20 weeks of pregnancy together with you helping take care of me in the evening. I know it was tough to not have me playing cars with you on the ground or doing other activities that you enjoy many of those evenings.

I'm grateful that you made me a mom. I know that I'm not always the best at being patient with you or having the most creative activities for you and I don't always take you outside when you want to go out and that you get frustrated with me. But I'm grateful for your overall patience with me as I try to figure out this parenting thing and balancing what I want with what you need and want.

You are an absolutely amazing boy! You have such a great sense of humor and I love that you do silly things purposefully to make us laugh- whether it's making silly noises with your mouth or pretending like you're falling over or playing games of peek-a-boo or blowing raspberries on my belly. It's so funny to me when you pretend to not know what something is and then giggle and make it a guessing game.


I love when you ramble on with stories that sometimes don't make the most coherent sense with such passion and expression. Your most recent one has been about a motorcycle crashing and getting "super big itty bitty owies". You sometimes tell stories where you are obviously trying to say some words, but it comes out as mush with a bunch of vowels and consonants strung together yet your expression is just so engaging and priceless. You laugh and giggle and your eyes get so wide. You are such a great story-teller already!

I love when you start to say and do things that Daddy and I say to you. Sometimes, it helps me realize how ridiculous I must sound to you. Other times, it's a reminder that we must be doing something right. Like, today, you put a piece of tape on my arm insisting it was a bandaid covering an owie and then lightly patted my arm and said "It's okay, Mama. It won't hurt. I kiss it better." and then kissed my arm.

I love that you are able to be so tough and roar and jump and climb and throw and then be soft and cuddly at other times. I love that every night you still insist that I be the one to put you to bed and you ask to "cuddle me". I know that I won't always have such a willing boy to cuddle with me in a rocking chair or on his bed when you get older, but I still hope you will cuddle up to me on the couch as you get older.

I love watching your relationship with Daddy flourish. He cares about you so much. I want you to know that not many Daddys would willingly stay home all day with you like he has for the past year while I've been working and then still be interested in spending time with you during the evening and weekends. He always does fun activities with you, too. It's amazing to hear the way he speaks about you. When we were talking about having another baby I remember he said something about how "knowing how much he loves and cares about you just makes him so much more excited to have that with another child." I hope you always continue to appreciate and love your dad and all that he does for you. It's so fun to hear you talk about "going on rides in the jeep with Dad" and "going up on the mountain with Dad". I'm always a bit jealous when he sends me pictures of you two on your adventures.

I love your excitement for church and praying. I'm sure you don't understand a lot of it, yet. But I always love when you're saying your nightly prayers and you'll look up at me and ask if you can pray for something. Your first non-prompted prayer, you prayed for Buzz Lightyear. Now, you'll pray for things like "daddy feel better" "Avalon to sleep" "Go play with doggie" "Go to nursery" and other things on your own. I love these little examples of how your mind is working and what you're aware of.

I'm amazed at the boy you are growing into. I can only imagine the great things you will be able to accomplish in your life. I hope that I can be a good example to you and give you all of the things that you need to thrive, excel and grow. I hope that you will continue to be curious about the world around you and continue asking questions and I really hope that I will know how to answer your questions, but if I don't, I bet Daddy will know and we'll go ask him.

I hope that you will continue to find the balance between being tough and being "soft". The world and culture around you will just want you to be tough all of the time as you get older, but don't get caught in that lie- you only really get to know other people when they are being vulnerable and those are the friendships worth keeping. It's okay to be sensitive and caring.

I love how you will talk to Avalon through my belly button and lay your head on my belly (which as you said today "the baby is getting so tall and big!") and just "cuddle and listen to Avalon". Today, when she gave you a little kick while your head was lying there, you just laughed it off.

I know that you will be an amazing older brother. I'm sure you'll be very protective of her. I hope that you and Avalon will be close and that you two will always look out for each other. I hope that you can teach her and be a good example to her.

I hope that you will always know that I love you and know that you have brought so much love, joy and excitement into my life. I hope that over these next few months when I am sleep deprived and trying to re-learn how to take care of a newborn that you will be patient with me and also remind me that I need to spend alone time with you, too.

I'm so excited for you to be a big brother! I hope that you know how much I only want the best for you and that you know that I absolutely, unconditionally love you (even when you are smearing poop all over the carpet and door). Thanks for being my baby boy.

Love,
Mommy

Can Ye Feel So Now?

Excerpts from Can Ye Fell So Now?- Elder Quentin L. Cook, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

...This question, “Can ye feel so now?” rings across the centuries. With all that we have received in this dispensation—including the Restoration of the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the outpouring of spiritual gifts, and the indisputable blessings of heaven—Alma’s challenge has never been more important.

It is not surprising that some in the Church believe they can’t answer Alma’s question with a resounding yes. They do not “feel so now.” They feel they are in a spiritual drought. Others are angry, hurt, or disillusioned. If these descriptions apply to you, it is important to evaluate why you cannot “feel so now.

Many who are in a spiritual drought and lack commitment have not necessarily been involved in major sins or transgressions, but they have made unwise choices. Some are casual in their observance of sacred covenants. Others spend most of their time giving first-class devotion to lesser causes. Some allow intense cultural or political views to weaken their allegiance to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Some have immersed themselves in Internet materials that magnify, exaggerate, and, in some cases, invent shortcomings of early Church leaders. Then they draw incorrect conclusions that can affect testimony. Any who have made these choices can repent and be spiritually renewed.

Immersion in the scriptures is essential for spiritual nourishment. The word of God inspires commitment and acts as a healing balm for hurt feelings, anger, or disillusionment. When our commitment is diminished for any reason, part of the solution is repentance. Commitment and repentance are closely intertwined."

C.S. Lewis asserted that Christianity tells people to repent and promises them forgiveness; but until people know and feel they need forgiveness, Christianity does not speak to them. He stated, “When you know you are sick, you will listen to the doctor.”

How we treat those closest to us is of fundamental importance. Violence, abuse, lack of civility, and disrespect in the home are not acceptable—not acceptable for adults and not acceptable for the rising generation. My father was not active in the Church but was a remarkably good example, especially in his treatment of my mother. He used to say, “God will hold men responsible for every tear they cause their wives to shed.”

Sexual immorality and impure thoughts violate the standard established by the Savior. We were warned at the beginning of this dispensation that sexual immorality would be perhaps the greatest challenge. Such conduct will, without repentance, cause a spiritual drought and loss of commitment. Movies, TV, and the Internet often convey degrading messages and images.

I recently had an insightful conversation with a 15-year-old Aaronic Priesthood holder. He helped me understand how easy it is in this Internet age for young people to almost inadvertently be exposed to impure and even pornographic images. He pointed out that for most principles the Church teaches, there is at least some recognition in society at large that violating these principles can have devastating effects on health and well-being. He mentioned cigarette smoking, drug use, and alcohol consumption by young people. But he noted that there is no corresponding outcry or even a significant warning from society at large about pornography or immorality.

My dear brothers and sisters, this young man’s analysis is correct. What is the answer? For years, prophets and apostles have taught the importance of religious observance in the home.

Parents, the days are long past when regular, active participation in Church meetings and programs, though essential, can fulfill your sacred responsibility to teach your children to live moral, righteous lives and walk uprightly before the Lord. It is essential that this be faithfully accomplished in homes which are places of refuge where kindness, forgiveness, truth, and righteousness prevail. Parents must have the courage to filter or monitor Internet access, television, movies, and music. Parents must have the courage to say no, defend truth, and bear powerful testimony. Your children need to know that you have faith in the Savior, love your Heavenly Father, and sustain the leaders of the Church. Spiritual maturity must flourish in our homes. My hope is that no one will leave this conference without understanding that the moral issues of our day must be addressed in the family.

I want to assure you, as Alma taught, that through repentance you can qualify for all the blessings of heaven. That is what the Savior’s Atonement is all about.

For any whose lives are not in order, remember, it is never too late to make the Savior’s Atonement the foundation of our faith and lives.

In the words of Isaiah, “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”

My sincere prayer is that each of us will take any necessary action to feel the Spirit now so we can sing the song of redeeming love with all our hearts.

Extended Breastfeeding

My little man will be 18 months this month and I'm still breastfeeding him twice a day- first thing in the morning and at bedtime.

A variety of things have influenced this decision, but I don't have a lot of people I talk to about it so I thought I'd write about it.

Reasons for Extended Breastfeeding

1. You like it. Breastfeeding has been a great experience for me. Granted, it took a heck of a lot of power pumping sessions at first to build up my milk supply, the worry of him not gaining enough weight and a visit to a local lactation consultant to get us to where breastfeeding was working and then a few more months until it was enjoyable. I was convinced I was going to breastfeed and I worked my butt off to do so. It did not come easy for me. It hurt like crazy, plus I was starting my first year as a PhD student the week after he was born and wasn't around the house full-time. I wanted to do it and I made myself like it. I thought I'd be done at 6 months, but then I kept going. I then thought I'd be done at 12 months and kept going. He's now 18 months and I'm debating weaning, but we'll see what happens. Breastfeeding has been a wonderful experience since I'm gone 10-20 hours a week with school and work. It means I get special quiet time with my boy every day!
2. Your baby likes it.  Since Aidan was in the NICU with tubes for a couple weeks, it took a while for him to figure out how to draw the milk back and swallow, but once he figured it out, he loved it. He'd go through stages where he wouldn't take a bottle because he liked breastfeeding so much. It was a compliment at times and at other times I just wanted to get out of the house and go on a date and know he'd drink out of the bottle. Aidan doesn't ask for mama's milk or tug at my shirt or anything so it's been a good system for us. It's so awesome to be feeding him and have him look up at me with his big blue eyes. I also love that when he's sick or really upset, I know I can rely on him wanting to breastfeeding even if he doesn't want anything else.
3. Your husband is supportive. My husband has been absolutely amazing in supporting me breastfeeding. His take was "Duh, wouldn't we want to do what's best for our baby? I'll help you however I can." There were times that I wanted to give up. I was exhausted from doing most of the feedings. I felt like the odd one out with my friends since most had stopped breastfeeding before their baby was one and most used formula. I felt like I wasn't sexy anymore. This has taken time to get used to, but I honestly now believe that he thinks I'm sexy and likes my breasts just as much as he did before I was using them to feed our baby boy. He has been so great in cheering me on! He always says the best things about breastfeeding, does his own research and is willing to support whatever I want.
4. The research supports extended breastfeeding.

• "In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides: 29% of energy requirements, 43% of protein requirements, 36% of calcium requirements, 75% of vitamin A requirements, 76% of folate requirements, 94% of vitamin B12 requirements,60% of vitamin C requirements" (Dewey, 2001)
• Some doctors may feel that nursing will interfere with a child's appetite for other foods. Yet there has been no documentation that nursing children are more likely than weaned children to refuse supplementary foods. In fact, most researchers in Third World countries, where a malnourished toddler's appetite may be of critical importance, recommend continued nursing for even the severely malnourished (Briend et al, 1988; Rhode, 1988; Shattock and Stephens, 1975; Whitehead, 1985). Most suggest helping the malnourished older nursing child not by weaning but by supplementing the mother's diet to improve the nutritional quality of her milk (Ahn and MacLean. 1980; Jelliffe and Jelliffe, 1978) and by offering the child more varied and more palatable foods to improve his or her appetite (Rohde, 1988; Tangermann, 1988; Underwood, 1985).
• "Antibodies are abundant in human milk throughout lactation" (Nutrition During Lactation 1991; p. 134). In fact, some of the immune factors in breastmilk increase in concentration during the second year and also during the weaning process. (Goldman 1983, Goldman & Goldblum 1983, Institute of Medicine 1991).
• Breastfeeding can be helpful for preventing allergy by:
• reducing exposure to potential allergens (the later baby is exposed, the less likely that there will be an allergic reaction),
• speeding maturation of the protective intestinal barrier in baby's gut,
• coating the gut and providing a barrier to potentially allergenic molecules,
• providing anti-inflammatory properties that reduce the risk of infections (which can act as allergy triggers).
• Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest.
• "Research reports on the psychological aspects of nursing are scarce. One study that dealt specifically with babies nursed longer than a year showed a significant link between the duration of nursing and mothers' and teachers' ratings of social adjustment in six- to eight-year-old children (Ferguson et al, 1987). In the words of the researchers, 'There are statistically significant tendencies for conduct disorder scores to decline with increasing duration of breastfeeding.'"
• "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." (AAP 2005)"
• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, uterine cancer, endometrial cancer,  and rheumatoid arthritis in mothers.
• Breastfeeding protects against osteoporosis. During lactation a mother may experience decreases of bone mineral. A nursing mom's bone mineral density may be reduced in the whole body by 1 to 2 percent while she is still nursing. This is gained back, and bone mineral density may actually increase, when the baby is weaned from the breast. This is not dependent on additional calcium supplementation in the mother's diet.
• Breastmilk has some awesome abilities

Tips

1. Have a good support system. It's not easy to breastfeed if you're hanging out with people who are anti or think it's disgusting or think you're crazy for continuing to breastfeeding. Find people you can talk to about it and be encouraging.
2. Find things to make breastfeeding comfortable. For me this includes, my ipod touch,  My Brest Friend Pillow, comfortable and supportive nursing bra and a comfortable rocking chair.
3. Set your own goals. Determine how long you want to breastfeed, when and how etc.
4. Teach your toddler eating manners. Teaching your baby sign language for milk might be helpful. Talk to him/her about keeping you covered while feeding in public, not playing with your breasts etc.

Some Common Questions I Get

Q. Doesn't it hurt to breastfeed since he has so many teeth?!

A. If your baby is latched correctly, his tongue covers his teeth and no biting should occur. Aidan has actually bitten me twice. Once, he drew blood. It was not cool. I realized that I was forcing him to eat when he wasn't actually hungry and learned. Here are some tips if your baby bites.

Q. Does he ask to be fed and lift up your shirt?

A. He's never actually done that. I have no idea if I just got lucky or what. I always feed him in the same chair and he knows if I sit down there and grab the nursing pillow that he is going to be fed and will run over happily, but even then he doesn't pull on my shirt. At that point he will ask for milk sometimes, though. He takes a bottle or sippy cup really well so if we're out in public I just give him that and he's fine.

Q. Don't you lose your milk if you're only feeding twice a day?

A. Nope. Basically, the system of breastfeeding is supply and demand. Your body will make what your baby is eating. If you're breastfeeding twice a day, you'll make enough for those two feedings. The key is to not skip a ton. You can skip a bit here and there but if you consistently skip (e.g. no night feedings 3 days in a row) then you'll probably start to lose milk for that feeding.

Feel free to ask questions. 

I'd love to hear from other moms that are breastfeeding. I love building that social support- even if it's just through your comments.

UPDATE: He was fully weaned around 21-22 months. I just followed his lead. Some nights, he'd ask for a bottle and didn't want to nurse. It slowly dwindled and then he was done. No pain as he was weaned. My breasts just adjusted with supply and demand. I was a bit sad, but we still have our cuddle and reading time before bed. Plus, we started trying to get pregnant around the time he was 22 months so it worked out.. Also sad I couldn't keep eating extra calories. I'm looking forward to breastfeeding our next kid again (after the initial pain). I hope she can get it down and enjoy it.

Please don't take offense to anything I've said. We should all be able to talk about our own experiences with feeding. We each do the best we can as mothers.

Americans Growing Intolerant of Children?

A restaurant in Pittsburg recently banned children under 6 from their restaurant.
"They've just become too much of a bother to other customers...This is a three-part issue. One is the increasing number of small babies that can’t be controlled. They can’t be quiet and really they can’t be expected to.” The second factor is kindergarten-aged kids who “have shown increasingly poor manners.” And lastly he blames parents, who “act like we’re the ones being offensive” when staff members ask them to calm their children down.
A survey at the bottom of the article says 44% would like to have all children removed from all restaurants. 3% say no, never. The remaining 53% say it depends on the restaurant.

There have been airlines recently to ban children from areas of the aircraft and are talking of banning children from certain flights completely.

I also read an article about how permissive parents breed bratty children. It states that children aren't to be treated as the "center of the universe" and how if you're a good parent you wouldn't have to repeat yourself more than once. The author says they don't want to hear your child on an airplane, in a restaurant or in a grocery store. Yes, sure, it'd be nice to go to the grocery store child-free sometimes, but really?! The real kicker here is that the author has children.

I don't know about you, but I can't always predict what mood by child's going to be in. We might have to rush dinner really fast. I doubt that he will always listen to me the first time I ask him to do something or that "the look" will get him to do what I want. There's only so much as a parent that I can "control". Every kid has his/her own temperament and tolerance. This is even evident as a newborn.

I think that our children should be the center of our universe. We should teach them manners. We should teach them true principles. We should be good examples to them. We should encourage them to be socially active and expose them to varying aspects and environments in the world. We should be with them as much as possible and show and share our unconditional love for them.

I realize this is a bit scatter-brained, but it was just so interesting to me and I had to get something out about it.

Check out The Parents Corner for some great Parenting Tips.

How to Talk to Little Girls

Via

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I found this article in the Huffington Post by Lisa Boom-- LOVED IT!

I went to a dinner party at a friend's home last weekend, and met her five-year-old daughter for the first time.

Little Maya was all curly brown hair, doe-like dark eyes, and adorable in her shiny pink nightgown. I wanted to squeal, "Maya, you're so cute! Look at you! Turn around and model that pretty ruffled gown, you gorgeous thing!"

But I didn't. I squelched myself. As I always bite my tongue when I meet little girls, restraining myself from my first impulse, which is to tell them how darn cute/ pretty/ beautiful/ well-dressed/ well-manicured/ well-coiffed they are.

What's wrong with that? It's our culture's standard talking-to-little-girls icebreaker, isn't it? And why not give them a sincere compliment to boost their self-esteem? Because they are so darling I just want to burst when I meet them, honestly.

Hold that thought for just a moment.

This week ABC News reported that nearly half of all three- to six-year-old girls worry about being fat. In my book, Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World, I reveal that 15 to 18 percent of girls under 12 now wear mascara, eyeliner and lipstick regularly; eating disorders are up and self-esteem is down; and 25 percent of young American women would rather win America's Next Top Model than the Nobel Peace Prize. Even bright, successful college women say they'd rather be hot than smart. A Miami mom just died from cosmetic surgery, leaving behind two teenagers. This keeps happening, and it breaks my heart.

Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. What's missing? A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments.

That's why I force myself to talk to little girls as follows.

"Maya," I said, crouching down at her level, looking into her eyes, "very nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," she said, in that trained, polite, talking-to-adults good girl voice.

"Hey, what are you reading?" I asked, a twinkle in my eyes. I love books. I'm nuts for them. I let that show.

Her eyes got bigger, and the practiced, polite facial expression gave way to genuine excitement over this topic. She paused, though, a little shy of me, a stranger.

"I LOVE books," I said. "Do you?"

Most kids do.

"YES," she said. "And I can read them all by myself now!"

"Wow, amazing!" I said. And it is, for a five-year-old. You go on with your bad self, Maya.

"What's your favorite book?" I asked.

"I'll go get it! Can I read it to you?"

Purplicious was Maya's pick and a new one to me, as Maya snuggled next to me on the sofa and proudly read aloud every word, about our heroine who loves pink but is tormented by a group of girls at school who only wear black. Alas, it was about girls and what they wore, and how their wardrobe choices defined their identities. But after Maya closed the final page, I steered the conversation to the deeper issues in the book: mean girls and peer pressure and not going along with the group. I told her my favorite color in the world is green, because I love nature, and she was down with that.

Not once did we discuss clothes or hair or bodies or who was pretty. It's surprising how hard it is to stay away from those topics with little girls, but I'm stubborn.

I told her that I'd just written a book, and that I hoped she'd write one too one day. She was fairly psyched about that idea. We were both sad when Maya had to go to bed, but I told her next time to choose another book and we'd read it and talk about it. Oops. That got her too amped up to sleep, and she came down from her bedroom a few times, all jazzed up.

So, one tiny bit of opposition to a culture that sends all the wrong messages to our girls. One tiny nudge towards valuing female brains. One brief moment of intentional role modeling. Will my few minutes with Maya change our multibillion dollar beauty industry, reality shows that demean women, our celebrity-manic culture? No. But I did change Maya's perspective for at least that evening.

Try this the next time you meet a little girl. She may be surprised and unsure at first, because few ask her about her mind, but be patient and stick with it. Ask her what she's reading. What does she like and dislike, and why? There are no wrong answers. You're just generating an intelligent conversation that respects her brain. For older girls, ask her about current events issues: pollution, wars, school budgets slashed. What bothers her out there in the world? How would she fix it if she had a magic wand? You may get some intriguing answers. Tell her about your ideas and accomplishments and your favorite books. Model for her what a thinking woman says and does.

And let me know the response you get at www.Twitter.com/lisabloom and Facebook.

Here's to changing the world, one little girl at a time.

For many more tips on how keep yourself and your daughter smart, check out my new book, Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World, www.Think.tv

Formula

My son is 11 months old and he had never had formula. Until yesterday. I've been working part-time and doing school full-time since a few weeks after his birth. I always wanted to breastfeed for a number of reasons. My motivation hasn't always been pure, but I'm stubborn and when I set out to do something, I will do it. Even if I'm miserable and unhealthy.

My milk supply has been a bit low lately and instead of putting him through minor starvation, yesterday, I went to the store and bought a can of formula. That little can cost me a whopping $15. Wowza!

But, he drank it just fine. All 2 ounces that he still wanted after I had breastfed him. He was then full and went right down for a nap! It was wonderful!

I'll be honest. It's a huge relief to be able to do formula. Last night, I wanted to go the gym and didn't have anything pumped so my husband just said "Go ahead. The formula's super easy to mix. We'll be fine."

Why didn't I do this sooner?

Relationship Communication

From The Parents Corner

If you are like the average couple you are only getting 2 hours 20 minutes of meaningful connection with your partner. Try the following exercises to increase the time you connect with your partner.

• Partings: Do not part in the morning without knowing one interesting thing that will happen in your partner's day. (2 minutes per day X 5 working days = 10 minutes).
• Reunions: Take 10 minutes to talk about your day (a stress relieving conversation). Partners alternate in actively listening to each other. Support and understanding of your partners experiences must precede any advice giving. (20 minutes per day X 5 working days = 40 minutes).
• Admiration and Appreciation: Find some way every day to genuinely communicate affection and appreciation toward your partner. (5 minutes per day X 7 days = 35 minutes).
• Affection: Kiss, hold, touch, hug each other. Make sure to kiss and hug in front of your kids. This lets them know that Mom and Dad are still in love. (5 minutes per day X 7 days = 35 minutes).
• Dating: Take at least three hours a week for a marital date. During this day conversations about kids, school, work, etc. are off limits. Find out more about your partner, try to understand what motivates them and how you can help them when needed. 

Continue in Patience

I love that as part of work I can look through Mormon Messages, read and watch general conference talks and post them on blogs.



My hubby came home after the Priesthood Session and was really impacted by this talk. I finally watched it and it was amazing! We live in a world where so much is available, but I often find myself feeling like I deserve to have things instantly. I loved Pres. Uchtdorf's reference to wondering why he was running slower than those who were not following the Word of Wisdom when he knew the promise was that he could "run and not be faint" by keeping the commandments.

"God's promises are not always fulfilled as quickly as or in the way we might hope; they come according to His timing and His ways."

I told my husband I want to do the marshmallow test with our kids. He said it might be a bad idea because we might start to favor the child that puts off eating their marshmallow and always encourage them to do better just reinforcing what the study had found. He has a point! Smart man.

You can read a news story on the marshmallow test here or read the actual chapter regarding the study here.