Anne Hathaway: "I Needed to Look Like I was Dying" for Les Mis

I'm grateful to see a story where an actress and actor are honest about their weight loss for a film (A film I have yet to actually see...)! They both talk about how it was miserable and unhealthy to lose weight the way they did and do not encourage it for others. I'm happy to see they are both looking healthy and happy after filming as well.

Check out Hugh Jackman & Anne Hathaway as they discuss preparing for their roles.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/20981459

"I was an actor and I had to do a role and I find it kinda weird the way the media can glamorise this sort of thing.

"I didn't lose the weight to look attractive," added the Oscar and Bafta nominated star.

"I needed to look like I was dying and I worry that all that attention adds up to an unhealthy way."

There have been widely varying rumours as to how little Hathaway ate to portray the tragic character of Fantine. But when asked to clear those up, she said: 

"You know I appreciate the question, I don't want to answer it because I think that I was on a starvation diet to look like I was near death in a film and I don't want anyone to feel like,'Oh I just want to drop like a couple of pounds.'

BMI for a Two-Year Old?

Today I went in for an appointment and met with a dietitian as part of it. They weighed me and weighed Aidan and got our heights etc. She told me Aidan is in the 40th %tile for height and the 80th %tile for weight. She then proceeded to tell me that this put him in the 90th percentile for his BMI. I was thinking it was a bit odd they were using BMI, but continued to listen. I guess the AAP and CDC has endorsed this starting at age 2, but let's remember that they also say that doctors should use further assessments to see if excess fat is actually a problem (per here).

She then continued to tell me that I should watch out for Aidan because he could be on track to become obese. I was very polite in the moment, but in my head I was thinking, Heck no, woman! My child is only two and he looks and seems very healthy. And I can see this kid's ribs! I'm always worried that he doesn't have enough meat on his bones. Plus, I believe in intuitive eating and that kids are expert intuitive eaters. Plus, he runs around allllll the time. Plus, his primary doctor thinks he's doing well so I'll take his word over yours. Yeah, I totally over-reacted in my head, but even now it's still sticking with me. I think it's wise that we make sure our kids develop healthy habits while they're young and we do have an obesity epidemic in the US.

It was a very interesting experience for me. It totally caught me off guard. Completely. I never think of him as an overweight or hefty toddler at all. I think we're going to switch him to skim or 1% milk now and try to be a bit more mindful and make sure we offer him a wide variety of foods, regular meal times etc.

Has anybody else had an experience like this?

What to say and what NOT to say when talking to kids about weight

http://moms.today.com/_news/2011/09/14/7746147-what-to-say-and-what-not-to-say-when-talking-to-kids-about-weight

1. DO talk about living a healthier lifestyle. Explain that making healthier eating choices will fuel your child’s body for school and fun and that getting physical activity and enough sleep will energize him.
DON’T talk about losing weight or dieting. Placing the focus on weight loss or diets can contribute to eating-disordered thoughts and behaviors. In addition, kids need a wide range of foods to be healthy, but diets don’t provide this; balanced choices do. Don’t make any forbidden, as there is a place for all foods in a healthy lifestyle.

2. DO make it a family affair. Tell your child that everyone in the family will work together to live a healthier lifestyle and encourage him or her to learn about healthy habits on their own and in a fun way by visiting www.fit.webmd.com.
DON’T single out one child. It will be too difficult for a child to make healthy changes if she is the only one eating healthy and exercising.

3. DO talk to your child about making sure he gets enough sleep and has adequate time to relax. When kids are sleep deprived or stressed, it is difficult for them to keep a healthy weight
DON’T pack your child’s schedule so full of activity that there is no time for unstructured play. All kids need downtime to play actively and creatively. Having the opportunity to do so will help your child relax and unwind in order to get a good night’s sleep.

4. DO make exercise fun. Explain that exercise can be play – like bike riding and playing in the park. When your child realizes this, she will be happy about moving her body.
DON’T tell your child that he must exercise every day. Instead, tell him that you will begin to plan fun ‘moving’ activities so the whole family can get healthier together.

5. DO tell your child that you love her inside and out. Reinforce that you are proud of her and tell her that, even if it takes a while to become successful at making healthier choices, you will support her as she tries.
DON’T tell your child she is ‘fat’ or ‘overweight’. Also, resist the urge to ask her to ‘try harder’ or ‘work at it more’ – or similar phrases. Your child will hear only the negatives. It is tough to become healthier, so your child needs as much support and positive feedback as possible.

For more tips and advice, including how to speak to kids of specific ages – and what to do if you suspect your child is being bullied about his or her weight – please visit www.webmd.com/raisingfitkids. 

Media Literacy

I was talking the other day with a young teenage girl about ads we see daily. I was explaining to her about how images can be changed and "photoshopped". She knew they could be retouched, but didn't really know how much. Just for fun I showed her a few before and after pictures of models being retouched. She was shocked! We walked by a magazine rack and she picked one up and looked and said "She has no lines from smiling! How is that possible?" I was so proud. I wish more young people were aware of this false sense of "perfect" bodies depicted in the media.


That liquefy effect in the video is crazy!

A Mother's Influence on Beauty

Growing up in our culture can be daunting- especially as a girl. I felt like I was always receiving messages about how I should feel, act and look. "You shouldn't wear orange if you're a red head." "Always cross your ankles and never your legs." "Never go out in public without makeup." "Never speak your mind because it might be offensive to somebody." There were a lot of silent messages, too. I would be standing in line at the grocery checkout and notice all of the magazines with girls with perfect, tan skin, with their collar bones visible and figured that's what I would need to look like to be considered beautiful in our society. Luckily, I had a great mother to counteract these false definitions of beauty.

My mom trained me about beauty from a young age. She would often comment on how grossly skinny some girls were. Or she'd mention that I looked beautiful. Anytime she'd hear me commenting about how wide my hips were or how upset I was about the size of my breasts, she'd remind me that I was beautiful and that my body was a gift from God. She also taught me about the importance of looking like a real woman with curves and how part of our purpose as women is to bring children into the world. Without real hips, breasts, fat storage etc. this wouldn't be possible.

My parents have always been affectionate with each other. I remember my dad always complimenting my mom on how beautiful she was. My mom and dad would go out on fancy dates at least once a month where my mom would wear a silk blouse, skirt and stilettos and put on some flashy lipstick. I always thought she looked beautiful. The funny thing is, my mom isn't exactly tan nor was she a size 2. She knew how to take care of herself and her body and she had confidence that radiated beauty.

My mom is definitely the one who provided the foundation for my definition of beauty to come about. Without the great example of my mother and regular conversations with her regarding healthy body image, wellness and beauty, I would still be very confused and trying to figure out how to fit in. Mothers (and fathers) have such a huge impact on shaping their children's definition of beauty. One expert said, "Parents who maintain healthy attitudes about their own bodies, who model healthy eating behaviors, and who provide nutritious food for their family, preparing, serving, and sitting down to eat meals together with children as frequently as is possible, virtually immunize their child from developing eating problems."1 I thought of a few things that my parents did and wanted to share them with you. Obviously, these tips aren't fool proof, but they will definitely provide a great base from which your can learn and grow.

Here are some tips for mothers to help influence their daughters' definitions of beauty:

1. Never demean your own body. People can tell if you aren't satisfied with your body. It will radiate in how you carry yourself, talk, act, what situations you avoid etc.

2. Respect your body. Don't fall for the fad diets or other tricks that suck you into the unhealthy body ideal of today.

3. Encourage a wellness lifestyle. Do exercises that you enjoy. Eat a well-balanced diet.

4. Be aware of how you may be getting caught in the American ideal for beauty. For example, don't purposefully buy clothes that are a smaller size and then use them as motivation to get smaller.

5. Be aware of comments you make regarding other's appearance and/or eating habits. Never joke, shame or make comments about other's body size and/or eating habits. These off-hand comments may be the most memorable for your children.

6. Talk openly with your daughter about body image and beauty regularly. Help her distinguish between what's real and what's not. Help her have realistic expectations of beauty for herself and others.

7. Help your daughter have a vision for her future that goes beyond her appearance. Help her find hobbies and activities she enjoys and establish goals with her. Encourage her in the activities she enjoys.

8. Pay attention to comments your daughter makes about her body and appearance. Listen and be empathic. Although some comments may be irrational, she still genuinely feels this way. Be there as a person for her to talk to. Engage her in a conversation about what she thinks she could do to improve her body, health, ability to do certain things etc. and how she plans to do this.

9. Teach your daughter that there is no such thing as the "ideal" body. Beautiful bodies come in all shapes and sizes.

10. Encourage your daughter to be aware of and share her feelings instead of harboring them in her body. Young children, especially, tend to manifest anxiety and other stressors in the form of stomach and other body aches.

11. Discourage extreme behaviors such as sleeping too long, too little or too late, dieting, exercising too much or too little. This will help her feel better in her body.

12. Help her have a respect for the many amazing functions and purposes her body serves.

13. Praise your daughter for who she is, not how she looks. Find non-materialistic things to compliment her on such as her ability to get along with so many people, her dedication in work, and her passion.



*I wrote this article as part of the Recapturing Beauty Campaign started by BYU Women's Services (they have a blog, too). You can see my original article here.

"Maggie Goes on a Diet"

"This book is about a 14 year old girl who goes on a diet and is transformed from being extremely overweight and insecure to a normal sized girl who becomes the school soccer star. Through time, exercise and hard work, Maggie becomes more and more confident and develops a positive self image." (via)




This book just contributed to a nice conversation between the hubby and me. We decided we are both right in our opinions and our culture is messed up.


Your thoughts?

Ads Banned for Overly Airbrushing

L'Oreal advertisements of Julia Roberts & Christy Turlington have been banned for being "overly airbrushed".

I'm pretty happy to see somebody actually taking a stand for this.

I wonder where they draw the line at "normal" airbrushing versus "overly" airbrushed. It just seems so confusing. The ads were banned because they couldn't/wouldn't show exactly how much airbrushing had been done and what had been altered which is a requirement for cosmetic advertisements.

Basically, everything we see on TV and in Magazines has some kind of airbrush technique. Did you know that Julia Roberts had a body double in Pretty Women? Seriously, she is GORGEOUS as is- even without makeup!

Do you think airbrushing/photoshopping should be regulated? What messages, if any, does it send? Some would argue that we already know the pictures are fake so it doesn't even make a difference.

The More People Can Wonder

I think she made this comment a few years ago in an interview, but this quote is circulating quite a bit. I love it!

Photo-shopping

See the full album at Beauty Redefined's facebook page or blog 
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.193230777374742.45179.193209467376873

Mormon Women: The Weight of a Soul

This was such a powerful interview.
Go read about Beth and her battle with body image and eating.
http://www.mormonwomen.com/2011/07/13/the-weight-of-a-soul/

The really hard thing about eating disorders is that you have to eat. You can’t separate yourself from food.

How is Beauty Defined?

• The average woman sees 400-600 ads per day.
• By the time she is 17 years old, a woman has received over 250,000 commercial messages through the media
• 4 out of 5 girls at age 10 admit that their biggest fear is being fat 
• Each year Americans spend:
  •$40 billion for diet products
  •$20 billion for cosmetics
  •$300 million for cosmetic surgery
  In 1994 total retail sales for the American fashion and footwear industries were estimated at $246.5 billion

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor touched . . . But are felt in the heart.
-- Helen Keller 

Media Bodies

Jennifer Loch used these pictures in her presentation at the Dating Conference. I thought these pictures were stunning and awesome and thought I'd share.

Sometimes, I catch myself wondering why I don't look like models. But this made me realize that even models don't look like models. See if you can tell the difference. She had them in powerpoint and it was awesome to flip back and forth and watch the waistline, hips, shoulders, face etc all change.









The average American woman is 5'4", 163 pounds and wears a size 14.
The "ideal" woman portrayed by Barbie, models etc is 100 pounds, 5'7" and wears a size 8.
Many woman are now starving themselves into osteoporosis because they think dairy products will make them fat.

I'm really a huge fan of Intuitive Eating. Basically, eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full.

Self-Injury

I read this article for one of my classes and really, really enjoyed the point of view of this article. I thought I'd share. I hope you take the time to at least skim it. Don't I have an awesome job?!

A Look at the Increase in Body Focused Behaviors

by Wendy Lader, Ph.D.

Wherever one looks today, it is difficult to escape the increasing focus on the body. We starve it, exercise it, tattoo it, pierce it, self-mutilate and modify it through plastic surgery.
For the past 20 years, my colleagues and I at SAFE Alternatives® have focused on trying to understand and treat those that physically self-injure their bodies. We view self-injury, not as a meaningless habit, but rather a behavior that can serve a number of purposes and hold a myriad of different meanings. It can, at once, soothe, punish, numb, repulse and cleanse. It can represent an expression of anger, loneliness, invisibility, fear, self-loathing and even strength.

Throughout the years, I have often been asked whether I believed there is a relationship between self-injury and “body art.” When I first started pondering this question, I thought they were very different acts with different meanings and purposes. After all, self-injury is usually a private act inflicted by the individual, whereas body art is often a social act designed to have one fit in or impress a particular peer group. In addition, it is usually performed by someone other than the individual.

However, I came to realize that I was focusing on the differences and missing the more salient similarities. The more thought I gave to this issue the more I have come to believe that there is often only a thin line between those that self-injure and many of those that modify their bodies for the sake of beauty and or art. Is it purely coincidental that people in our society are turning to more permanent avenues of self-expression with their bodies serving as the canvas?

The younger generation seems to be finding a variety of ways to alter their bodies ranging from the mundane to the alarming and even bizarre. One pierced ear has now given way to 10 piercing, the placement of which seems to be limited only by the amount of skin one possesses. “Nose jobs” have now morphed into “body jobs”, and women (as well as an increasing number of men) can transform their bodies into the look of the day. Women are not only dying their hair or piercing their ears, but increasing or decreasing their breasts, sucking fat out and then injecting it back in and even putting implants in heretofore unimagined places in an effort to look more like JLo.

Are these modifications actually visible proclamations of one’s true identity? Many people who get tattoos, for example, think long and hard about what they want imprinted on their body to best represent to the world what is important to them. Some people have their whole life story tattooed across their arms, legs and torsos. Self-injurers often state that their scars tell their history as well, even if only to them. Do these various body alterations or designs actually represent one’s sense of self, and if so, why are people now experiencing a need to display their internal views of themselves on their bodies?

Every generation has behaviors chosen specifically to shock and if lucky appall the generation that went before; it is, after all, the task of adolescence to individuate and separate. In order to have the confidence to move forward into adulthood, teenagers must believe that they understand the ways of the world far better than their parents. Past examples of individuating behaviors include techniques such as swallowing goldfish, doing the “twist”, growing one’s hair long, fashioning it into an afro, dying it pink, wearing poodle skirts, tie die, or worse yet grunge outfits. All choices, thankfully, could be easily discarded once they had served their purpose of declaring to the older generation that their bearers are far wiser, and “hipper” than their parents ever were. Body modification can, on the other hand, be permanent, or at the very least leave permanent damage. In addition, all forms of body modification involve some degree of pain. Is this just an unfortunate by product of the process, or perhaps part of its allure? Could it be that the pain is the point, or as my clients so frequently state, “It’s easier to deal with physical rather than emotional pain?”

Overcoming physical pain or transcending one’s body is considered, in many religions to be a path towards reaching a “higher plane”, or religious rapture. Although a number of our clients are highly religious, they do not generally indicate religious rapture as an end goal for their self-injurious behavior. However, many do state that they would like to overcome their bodies, which have been considered a source of hurt, frustration and disappointment. Those that have been physically or sexually abused, for example, often believe that if they can master pain then no one will ever be able to hurt them again.

Is the increase in body modification an indication, similar to Columbine that this generation is having a more difficult time moving into adulthood, “finding themselves” as it were than past generations? Or perhaps I am just getting old.

I postulate that rather than finding one’s self through these various body alterations, people are losing themselves. Rather than getting in touch with their feelings, they are numbing. Rather than bringing them closer to their identity, they serve to alienate. Thus youth often spiral out of control as they engage in more and more of these behaviors with less and less sense of self satisfaction.

The body represents the individual to the outside world. It is how people are recognized from one another. The skin serves as the boundary between “me” and “other” (the rest of the world). It therefore makes sense that the body can represent a personal bulletin board to express to others things about oneself. Is there a fear that if one does not make their body more eye catching then no one will bother to look any further; to spice up the cover, so to speak, in hopes that someone might take an interest in reading the book? Or perhaps the natural body has become so distasteful (or boring) that one needs to find ways to embellish, disguise or disfigure it? And if so, from where does this sense of intense dissatisfaction or boredom originate?

For centuries, and in a variety of cultures, the skin has been utilized as a parchment on which to communicate any number of messages. Tattooing, piercing, branding, and scarification have been utilized to indicate tribal belonging, rank, religious affiliation, personal interests and even to frighten one’s enemies or make woman less attractive so as to protect them from being stolen (Favazza). The disenfranchised in many societies, such as bikers, gang members, prison inmates and servicemen away from home, have often chosen to “get ink”(tattoos) for perhaps similar reasons.

As a psychologist, I frequently consider and ask the question, “Why now?” So, I put forth the query, “Why are these behaviors seeping into the mainstream and fabric of our society at this point in time?” Should we just accept it as another cultural fad, or is there more meaning to the choice of this particular set of behaviors?

I believe that we are seeing an increase in body-focused behaviors for a myriad of cultural reasons, and that they are not merely a pointless fad. We live in a society that is becoming increasingly disenfranchised. Company loyalty is a thing of the past. Job changes are often accompanied by geographic moves. On top of this, divorce is on the rise as is the phenomena of “blended” families. Kids might not only move across the country with a parent, but also might need to live between two households. Whereas extended families used to live within easy distance of one another, now grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles can be scattered and live hundreds, if not thousands, of miles from one another. We no longer have a “village” raising our children, nor do adults have the support that closer communities used to provide.

In a world in which kids have more material goods than ever, why do they feel so deprived? Is it possible that the rapid introduction of technology has served to increasingly isolate people from one another? There was a time not so long ago when neighbors sat out on their front porches and knew each other well. The streets would be filled with active kids riding bicycles, playing pick up basketball or just “hanging together” talking about their lives and sharing their dreams. They used to play cards and board games with live people. Now kids go into their homes, bury
themselves in their PC’s (Personal Computers) and chat or play online games with total faceless strangers. Even when outside amongst other people, they are so absorbed with listening to their I-pods, or cell phone conversations, that they barely notice, much less acknowledge those that pass by. In addition, our society has become more dangerous, and younger people have been indoctrinated with the “stranger danger” philosophy of safety. They are taught not to make eye contact or speak with strangers. They can no longer ride their bikes or walk to school alone. Is it a wonder that our kids often experience themselves as alienated and alone? My friends in AA often remind me, “The mind is a dangerous neighborhood to be walking around in by oneself.”

Paradoxically, kids today are shielded from very little. It is almost impossible to watch TV or view the Internet without being exposed to explicit sexual and violent scenes. In this politically correct baby boomer world, kids have been treated as mini adults. They call adults (and even sometimes their parents) by their first name, and are often encouraged to challenge rather than respect authority. Tolerance for frustration seems to be plummeting in an overindulgent society, which seems to have a difficult time setting limits on adolescent behavior or their demands. The result is often an over inflated estimation of one’s own power which can deflate quickly when presented with the realities and challenges of everyday life. The more children are allowed to act “as if” they are adults without having earned the privileges that accompany adult status, then the more empty and confused they become.

Today’s youth are being exposed to much more and at earlier ages than they ever before. Current exposure is a long way from looking at nude pictures in National Geographic; children are provided with less structure, limits and opportunity to process what they are exposed to in society. In a world that often seems out of control, the body remains ours to do with what we will. Modifying one’s body might therefore provide one with a sense of control, albeit temporary, that might seem too elusive to otherwise attain. I often hear from my self-injuring clients, “It’s my body; I can do what I want to it.” Changing one’s body is often designed to get the attention of others in an effort to decrease one’s sense of invisibility, or to gain power over one’s enemies by appearing dangerous — such as the vampire look or choosing tattoos designed to intimidate. Samoan fisherman believed that if they could survive their intricate and extensive tattooing process, then they could survive the elements.

Of course most things in life operate on a continuum. Is a butterfly tattoo on one’s shoulder, a diet to fit into a pair of size 8 jeans, or a bellybutton piercing indicative of a deeper problem, or merely normal adolescent rebelliousness and a desire to fit in with peers? The behavior is not truly the problem; rather it is the drive and intensity behind the behavior to which clinicians should attend. These body-altering behaviors can serve as a coping strategy, an effort to control the out of control, to distract from the elusive and painful emotional to the tangible and palliative physical.

I believe that many of these body modifying behaviors are an example of “smoke and mirrors,” designed to have clinicians look in one direction, in an effort to keep them from looking in another. It keeps clinicians, as well as the person engaging in the behavior, focused on the physical, rather than the emotional, or stated in another way, focused on the physical at the expense of the emotional.

Symbols and behaviors, while forms of communication, are inexact at best often leaving much open for interpretation. That is why societies have moved from pictures on cave walls to written and verbal language. In order to be heard and understood, and therefore seen one needs to learn to communicate in ways that others can understand. A baby for example will cry when in need, but in need of what? It is up to the parent to determine whether the baby is sick, hungry, cold, hot, wet, wants to be held or is in pain. Unfortunately, not all parents are “good enough” or patient enough to determine what the baby is attempting to communicate. As children age into
teenagers and young adults, their lives and feeling states become increasingly complicated. The parent’s task of helping their teenager communicate his or her experiences also becomes more complicated as teenagers push their parents away in an effort to individuate. Parenting during this tumultuous time in their child’s life becomes a task that takes considerable time, patience and skill.

The less one is able to identify, label and express thoughts and feelings, the more overwhelmed one is likely to be. The less one knows about their internal life and emotional cues, then the more vulnerable one is likely to feel. Moreover, the less one is able to communicate thoughts and feelings to others, the more likely one is to experience oneself as invisible. How can youth communicate these internal experiences to others, to feel connected and understood if they do not have the language of thoughts and feelings? What happens when those internal experiences build to uncomfortably intense, amorphous states? Perhaps, they discharge through action using their bodies, their bulletin boards to “turn up the volume” so that someone might attend and help.

In summary, I believe that the increase in addictions, like body focused behaviors, can be attributed to the increase in the fragmentation of our society, as well as our families, where individuals experience themselves as just that, individual, separate, alienated people without a sense of structure, acceptance, love and belonging. Physical actions are utilized in an attempt to either control, get noticed, or frighten, but generally fail to communicate to either themselves or others in a meaningful way, thus once again, confirming to themselves that they are alone, misunderstood and vulnerable.

In the search for one’s identity through modification of the body, one is building a “false self,” a mask that at best may make an approximation of the person underneath, but in fact serves to hide and bury the “true self”. Many of my clients recite the mantra, “If people really knew me they would not like me.” They present a face to the world that is created to defend against the fear of alienation and rejection. However, by failing to identify and accept their true selves, by never taking the risk to allow others to see them with all of their thoughts, feelings and vulnerabilities, they are creating a self-fulfilling prophesy, one that will forever alienate them from both themselves and others.

Missing Hip

The airbrushing artist forgot to put her hip back. This is old, but still awesome.
Just to show how fake these pictures are.

Did you know it costs about $60,000 just to airbrush one photo for a magazine cover? It's often 4-5 women's bodies airbrushed together with a famous person's head (that usually doesn't have pores).

What's the Ideal Body Figure

I love studies like this that examine things that I'm interested in. I wonder how these attitudes play into disordered eating, workout obsessions, how males and females treat each other, the effects this has on a relationship, the cultural context etc.

This study was done in 1985 and is super popular. People replicate it all the time and look at differences between generations, cultures etc.

Basically, they asked men and women to note where they believe they are currently on the body scale, then note where they would like to be ideally, and what they think is attractive to the opposite sex. They also asked them to mark on the opposite gender's chart what they find attractive.

It's interesting to me that men think they should be bigger/bulkier and women think they should be skinnier. I wonder how much this has changed in the past few years. I think there are more guys trying to be skinny lately as well as the pressure to be really muscly so it's kind of divided (Note all the nasty skinny jeans men wear lately. I guess they're just helping with survival of the fittest.)

Click on the figure to be able to read it.
Fallon, A. E., & Rozin, P. (1985). Sex differences in perceptions of desirable body shape. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 94, 102–105.

Finding & Loving Your Beauty

I just watched this again. So inspiring. I love how she talks about her purpose as a mother.

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Modesty

I know this post may really upset a few people. You are welcome to disagree with me and have other opinions. Just like I disagree with you sometimes.

I believe the guidelines outlined in For Strength of Youth still apply in most situations (e.g. Chastity in marriage, Cleanliness in thought, Integrity etc.). I believe that modesty continues. I have made covenants that include modesty in my actions and dress.

My mom was always very strict about modesty. I played sports in high school and I was always the weird one with a shirt under my basketball jersey. Laugh. It's okay. My parents said it would be acceptable for sports to wear the uniform, but I just thought it'd be easier to follow the rules all the time. (Plus, I have body image issues. I'll just be honest here. I've been sporting "Relief Society" arms for a while now.) I was in Jazz Choir where we wore a sleeveless (is that the right word? tank top) dress. I wore a sweater right up until we went on stage in most cases. I still wear basketball shorts or capris and a t-shirt to the gym.

I often have this phrase ringing in my head: "Never lower your dress standards for any occasion. Doing so sends the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval and that modesty is important only when it is convenient."

I think this statement is so true. I did go through a phase in high school where I started wearing lower cut shirts and tighter tops etc. It was just for attention, to fit in and be stylish. And you know what? It worked. I remember boys noticing me. Talking to me. Girls befriended me. I realized my clothing really did say a lot about me.

I am still pretty conservative about how I dress. You can ask anybody that has ever suffered through a shopping experience with me. And I'm definitely not a fashion expert.

There are a few trends that are really driving me bonkers right now.

Here is one: Leggings and short tops that come mid-thigh or barely cover one's bum.

This post was mainly inspired by talking to my sister who sees a ton of girls in her singles ward wearing leggings at church. This is super immodest to me. Especially if one is an endowed church member. Sometimes, G's glow through.

"Immodest clothing includes short shorts and skirts, tight clothing, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and other revealing attire."

To me leggings and short tops (or are they supposed to be dresses? I don't get it.) break both of these guidelines-being both short and tight. BYU has this Dress and Grooming Standards poster around campus that has a picture of the typical leggings with short top that says "Where is your hem?" I like it.

I think if you're LDS and going to wear leggings, your top/dress should go to your knees. Leggings at church are just weird. Aren't leggings pants? Is it now okay to wear pants to church? Or if they aren't pants and they are indeed tights, shouldn't you wear a knee-length dress with them?

Reminder that this is my opinion. Not an official church statement.

I don't hate you or condemn you if you don't believe the same as me. It's in style. You want to look cute. Your boyfriend/husband thinks you look hot. You probably do look hot. I even think it's super cute on some people.

I just had to get that off my chest. Whew!

Your thoughts?